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Coaching

A letter from my Inner Warrior

Every so often I go through an exercise to connect to my inner wisdom and I then proceed to write down what comes to mind. Here is one of those “Letters from my Inner Warrior”.

“Welcome to this amazing place we call earth. There are so many exciting journeys to go on. Some of these journeys will fill you with tremendous joy, others bring sadness, but also great learning.

I’m so happy that you decided to join us. You see the world needs you and your gifts.

You may not realise it now, but you are going to rock the world and create unprecedented change. The trials and tribulations that you go through are really all just training to prepare you for your soul’s mission on earth.

There will be days that you feel like giving up – keep the faith and know that it is all going to be worth it. You will be able to speak your truth from a deep sense of knowing, no longer needing anyone’s approval.

On this life journey I’m here to support you and make sure that you nourish and take care of your body and soul. You see to do your amazing work will require significant energy, so it is important to keep your body in a healthy state. We’ll have fun, play and goof off every now and gain.

A lot of people will be giving you advice from an early age. Their intentions are good, some based on their own fears of wanting to conform. But don’t listen to them. Listen to your heart, because you are born with that amazing gift of intuiting and a fantastic ability to listen, both to what is said and not said. You’ll discover that you have the ability to “know” certain things about people without them telling you.

When your friend tells you not to buy the bright colorful leather jacket and opt for the sensible navy one, don’t listen to her. That colorful jacket will become your trademark.

Follow your heat’s desire in the moment. Don’t worry too much about doing the ‘right’ thing and pleasing others. You’ll have a strong sense that you don’t fit in – that’s OK.

Eagles don’t flock.

You are unique and amazing. Trust your own judgement, because you “know” even if you can’t explain it. Your decisions based on this knowing will take you far.

Get out of your head and don’t overthink stuff. Take immediate action, especially in those moments when you feel your heart pounding in your chest. That’s the space where miracles happen, things flow, people show up and the universe conspires to help you achieve success in the most delightful ways.

Here is some important and seemingly contradictory advice:

You don’t have to finish everything you start. Know that you can cut your losses when the situation no longer serves you.

Balance is completely overrate. Do those things that light you up and make you feel alive. Then you’ll never have to be concerned about being balanced.

Those crazy ideas you come up with when you are young – follow them. They are going to be all the rage when you are older, you might as well develop it.

Adopt an attitude of fearlessness. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Upgrade your “friends” regularly. Love deeply and take the risk to be vulnerable.

You see, you are going to turn out an amazing specimen of a human being. Continue to write poetry.

Publish your thinking. That’s your voice being heard, when you can’t speak.

You don’t need anyone’s approval.

Go for it.

You are going to inspire people for generations to come.

Remember that I love you always, no matter what.

Your Inner Warrior.

If you are curious about connecting to your inner warrior, then come join a group of fellow soul warriors in The Warrior Self Care Club

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Coaching Uncategorized

Irock+ Method

The Irock process kicks of with an invitation to an inquiry. Listen deeply to what is being said and what is not being said. Listen for insights. Keep an open mind and let go of the need to be right. Consider that alternative possibilities may exist at the same time. Ask yourself really good questions, framed in the positive. What might be possible for you? What would you love to create in the next 12 months? What would life be like if you were to create your all of your life’s wealth in the next 12 months?

Consider when your are at your best. What are those moments that make your heart sing, that make you feel alive, like you can achieve anything?

Consider the people, places, circumstances that surround you at moments of extraordinary performance.

What gives you life and what drains your energy?

Who are the people you love spending time with? Who should you rather avoid?
What is your favourite place in the world? What kind of places make you feel overwhelmed and tired?
Which situations allow you to be at your best? Which ones make you want to shrink and run away?
Does your physical space reflect the kind of person you want to be? Does it lift and inspire you? Are there areas with clutter and unfinished projects?

Observe as if for the first time, what is happening around you. The levels of observation depicted in the image will guide you in this journey.

It’s easier to start form the outside and work towards the core. What are the situations you find yourself in on a regular basis? Who are you in those situations and what role are you playing? Become aware of your body. What sensations do you experience and where in your body do you feel it? What emotions might be attached to those physical aspects? Is the pain in your shoulder an indication that you carry too much weight on your shoulders. Is the pain in your knee an indication that you don’t have the support you might need for the current situation. What are the thoughts you are constantly thinking? Are they your thoughts, or can you recognise your mother/father/caregiver/teacher in the things you are thinking. Do you tend to see the good in most things or are you focussed on what could go wrong. Who are you really, when no-one is around. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you like what you see and do you want to spend time with that person in the mirror?

Once we start paying attention and intensely observe what is happening around us and within us, we start to see the world more clearly. Situations that were difficult to comprehend before, now become easy to understand and the action we need to take becomes clear. We can know move towards taking conscious action and start creating our lives instead of being a victim of life.

We become aware of new knowledge that exists, because we have paid attention to our inner and outer world and have a clearer sense of direction. We can know distinguish between being, thinking and doing.

The Triangle of Trancendence allows us to move through different levels. In some instances we are physically doing and transacting. this level does not require much thought and often requires a lot of effort. Once we start thinking differently about our lives, our beliefs and experiences, transformation can take place. There is tremendous joy and freedom once we are able to step into being. When you are being a leader, you can relax becuase you know who you are and what is required of a leader. You no longer have to do leadership or think to hard about it. When you embrace being a leader it means that you are a leader in all areas of your life as parent, in your community, at work, at school, in friendly situations. You allow your leadership to shine though.

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Archetypes

What is your dominant archetype?

Archetypes are derived from the work of renowned psychologist, Carl Jung and more recently Carol Pearson. An archetype is a behavioural pattern that occurs across cultures, time and space so often, that it becomes a universal human experience.

Although many different archetypes have been mapped (over 300), I prefer to work with the combination of 12 as indicated in the image.

Each archetype is motivated and driven differently.

The Outlaw, Magician and Hero all want to leave their mark in the world or make a bigger impact. For the Lover, Jester and Everyman connection to others is what drives them. The Caregiver, Artist and Ruler want to provide structure. The Innocent, Sage and Explorer want to experience life through a spiritual lens.

Let’s look at each of the archetype in a bit more detail.

Innocent

The Innocent wants to be happy and they want to do things the right way. they tend to be highly optimistic and others may also see them as dreamers. Their biggest fear is to do something wrong or do something that others may not like. They tend to want to please others.

Everyman

The Everyman archetype is also referred to as the girl or guy next door or orphan. For them it is essential to feel that they belong. Above all else they want to connect with others. They want to fit in and be part of a community, so inclusion is important. They fear being excluded or left out in any social situation.

Caregiver

The Caregiver’s motto is to “Love your neighbour as you love yourself”. As the name indicates they want to care for and protect others. Their talents are likely to be perceived as being generous and supportive. Because the caregiver wants to do good for others, they risk being exploited by others and need to be aware of that. When working with a Caregiver, remember to thank them for what they have done.

Hero

The Hero is also known as the warrior or dragon slayer. We often see the hero in movies and it is easy to relate to them. The Hero wants to leave a legacy and believes that where there is a will, there is a way. You’ll recognise the hero through their courageous acts, always trying to prove their worth. They fear weakness and vulnerability. The Hero/Warrior may get caught up in searching for another battle to fight, when it isn’t always necessary.

Explorer

The Explorer wants to experience a rich and more fulfilling life. The want to travel and explore new places, people and experiences. They hate being bored or being fenced in or trapped. They are often referred to as the pilgrim or wanderer and may find it hard to settle down in one place.

Lover

For the Lover Archetype intimacy and connection with others is vital. Relationships on different levels with people, their work and the environment really energises them. To be unwanted, unloved or alone is one of their greatest fears.

Creator/Artist

The Creator or Artist lives by the motto that if you can imagine it, you can do it. They love to bring their vision to fruition and create something of enduring value. They are known for their imagination and creativity. The down side is that they may tend to get caught up in wanting everything to be perfect or just right all the time.

Outlaw/revolutionary

The Outlaw want to leave his mark on the world and overturn the systems and structures in society that are not working. They believe that rules are made to be broken. They fear being powerless or having their power being taken away from them. They value freedom and tend to be disruptors. When they get out of control they may cross over to the dark side and get involved in crime.

Ruler

The Ruler wants to be in control and live by the motto that “Power isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” They want to create success for their families and community. They are typically seen as leaders. Because they value structure, they fear chaos most. The Ruler might struggle with delegation.

Magician

The magician wants to make dreams come true. They need to understand the laws of the universe and the rules of the game. They typically develop a particular vision and live by it. The magician is also known as a healer, visionary, catalyst or charismatic leader. Their dark side tends to include becoming manipulative.

Sage

The Sage is also known as the Thinker or Philosopher. They yearn to find the truth in every situation and tend to be quite analytical. They fear being mislead the most. The Sage tends to think things through carefully and spends time reflecting on self and interaction with others. They may get caught up in analysis paralysis and not take action when it is required.

Jester

The Jester or Trickster believes that you only live once. They want to live in the moment and strive for joy. They want to have a great time and add some lightness to the world. They hate being bored and tend to be the life of the party. At their worst they tend to be superficial and would waste time on silly things.

Take the quizz

https://app.assessmentgenerator.com/assessment/maNqmsyMu00OkKx4pbyEq4GHbVZ2Wn0zrse0prK3xs0=e8l7
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Business Uncategorized

Sales tips for reluctant sales people

Sales Tips for Reluctant Sales People

Would it come as a surprise to you if I said we’re all sales people? It’s true.

Every time you have a prospective client on a discovery call, you’re making a sales pitch. Every time you send an email or write a blog post with an offer, you’re making a sales pitch. Every time you write an opt-in page, you’re making a sales pitch.

And you’re probably pretty good at it, too, or you wouldn’t be where you are today, would you?

So why do we continue to think we’re so bad at sales?

Sales Feels “Icky”

I hear this one a lot. You feel pushy or uncomfortable when talk turns to money. You don’t want to force anyone into a decision. You secretly think your rates are too high.

I’m going to be honest with you. This is one of those things that gets better only with practice. But the good news is, you don’t have to be on the phone with a prospective client to get that practice time in.

Instead, use the technique self-help gurus have been advocating for years: Look in the mirror and talk to yourself. Practice saying your rates out loud. Practice your segue from discovery to sales pitch. The more you do it, the more natural it will sound, and the less uncomfortable you will feel when on a real call.

Fix Your Mindset

What if you weren’t selling anything, but instead were simply chatting with a friend about the incredible new product that was going to change her life? You’re helping your friend to improve herself by sharing your experience with this new product.

That’s exactly how you should think about selling your coaching programs. You’re not trying to get your prospective client to spend money. Instead, you’re offering a solution to her problems. You’re genuinely helping her to overcome some obstacle in her life or business.

When you can turn your thinking around from “sales” to “helping” you’ll find it’s much easier to have the sales talk.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Follow Up

Most clients won’t say yes with the first call, and maybe not even with the second. But good coaches know that many sales can be closed if you simply take the time to follow up. Send a quick email and invite your prospect to:

  • Schedule a follow-up call to answer her questions
  • Read some of your testimonials
  • Review your coaching program outline or sales page
  • Or even join a different program of yours that might be a better fit

Don’t let that old “I’m not good at sales” thinking get in the way of making a real difference in people’s lives, and in growing your business and your profits. With these easy tips, you can quickly turn your sales blocks into a system for landing new clients consistently.

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Why you need to sometimes give yourself a break.

Being a high-performance individual and expecting a lot from yourself is no bad thing. Hard work is no bad thing, especially if it results in better outcomes for you and your family.

But what is a bad thing, is working so hard that you neglect to look after your own health. This is why it is crucial that you learn to sometimes give yourself a break. That means taking time out to take a warm shower, or to read a good book.

In this post, we’ll explore why this is so important.

The Immediate Benefits of Taking ‘You Time’

The initial benefits of taking ‘you time’ are exactly as you would expect. Firstly, this gives you an opportunity to rejuvenate and improve your health. When we are constantly wired and ‘on the go,’ it places our body into a state of arousal. This in turn means our heart rate is elevated, and that our immune systems and even digestive systems are suppressed. We are simply not designed to remain in this state indefinitely.

When you take time out to relax, you allow your body the chance to recover, while your brain will be able to sort through thoughts and ideas.

Sleeping is not enough. You need additional time out in order to relax and allow your body and mind the chance to recover.

The Long-Term Benefits

What’s more though, is that taking time out to do things you enjoy, will actually help you to be more effective and more productive the rest of the time.

Do you ever feel a lack of motivation and inspiration? This can lead to procrastination and poor performance at work, not to mention a lack of enjoyment in your life.

The problem is that spending all your time being productive can be a little “dry.” You time is important, because it allows you to do things you enjoy. This gives you something to look forward to, and an opportunity to have fun. This contrast makes it much easier to get through a dull day.

Not only that, but most of the things we enjoy will inspire us in some way – whether we find them interesting, humorous, or moving. Being reminded of those emotions can help to give us more ideas and more purpose in the rest of our lives.

Not to mention the fact that relaxing has been shown in studies to stimulate creativity!

In short, being constantly on the go and constantly productive means failing to take a step back and look at the big picture. Taking time out is important not only for your mood, but also for your ingenuity and inspiration.

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The top ways that working out/training is ideal self care

Self-Care is very much a trending hashtag at the moment, with more and more people signing up to the notion that sometimes it is pertinent to turn their attention to themselves and to look after their health and psychological well-being.

What most of us will tend to associate with this notion, is taking hot baths, and going through elaborate grooming rituals.

And you know what? That’s great! Looking after yourself like this can help to boost your mood, it can help you to look better, and it can give you a moment of peace and calm amongst everything else you have going on.

BUT that is not the only form of self-care.

What is just as important – if perhaps not more so – is to do the things that are perhaps a little less indulgent. The things that will improve your well-being in the long term.

And that includes working out and exercising.

How is Working Out Self-Care?

Working out might seem like the antithesis of self-care to many. If you think self-care means pampering, then the thought of going to a cold, sweaty gym and working out hard probably doesn’t gel!

But here’s the thing: working out is looking after yourself in a different way. And the way it transforms your health and your short-term mood makes it MORE than enough of a benefit to count.

When we work out, we push ourselves hard. But as a reward, our brains (pituitary glands to be precise) will release vast amounts of reward hormones like serotonin and dopamine, which will help us to feel happier and that will even relax our bodies and reduce any feelings of pain we might be experiencing! (Serotonin is the feel-good hormone and also a “natural painkiller.”)

Moreover, working out is your way of defying those negative feelings and emotions – those feelings of wanting to roll over and go back to bed.

When you train despite feeling unwell, you push through barriers. And you tell yourself that you will always have the motivation and drive to be the best you.

How to Train for Better Self-Care

The key here though, is not to make this into a gruelling and punishing workout. Rather, it should be something that you enjoy, and it should provide what is sometimes referred to as the “MED” (Minimum Effective Dose). That means you are going to be doing just enough to trigger positive changes in your body and mind, without getting to the point where you practically have to wipe yourself up off the floor…

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Is there a dark side to mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a currently trending topic that describes the importance of being aware of your own thoughts, and where you are directing your attention. The argument is that by controlling your awareness and focus, you can actually control the way you respond to events in your life – to become happier, calmer, and better.

This goes hand in hand with another popular trending topic: self-care.

But are they one and the same? Could there be a dark side to mindfulness?

Setting the Scene

Mindfulness actually comes from Buddhist meditation, but has since been commoditized to the point of being highly digestible. There are countless apps and books that encourage us to follow basic steps to focus on our breathing, rather than on the feelings of despair.

That in itself might raise some red flags. That such a huge industry has grown around the psychological suffering of others is a little worrying to say the least. But it is also not wrong in principle, so long as it is genuinely helping people.

The big issue then, is that a lot of companies seem to be backing this mindfulness movement, with the hope that it will make their staff more agreeable.

Let’s say you’re in a dead-end job that you find stressful and crushing. Your impulse might be to up and leave, but by following a course of mindfulness, you could control those feelings of stress and thereby be able to continue focussing.

And given that the entire purpose of mindfulness is to be “in the moment” and not to think about things that stress you out, this happens to be a very good way to prevent people from thinking about how much they hate their jobs – or what alternative options they might have.

We often see dystopian futures in fiction that depict a workforce kept in-check through the use of happiness pills. Is this so much different?

Then there’s the other issue: that mindfulness encourages us to be in the present moment at the expense of other mental states.

Daydreaming doesn’t only lead to feelings of stress and anxiety. Daydreaming can just as easily help us to come up with exciting new ideas or plans. Likewise, it doesn’t hurt to occasionally reminisce, or to experience a bit of positive, motivating stress (called eustress in the literature).

We’re not saying that mindfulness is bad. We’re just saying that it isn’t perfect either. Don’t just learn how to use it, but also when.

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How your emotions affect your health, drive and more

Want more proof that self-care is critical? How about the fact that your emotions affect everything.

What do I mean by that? Simple: your emotions control and influence everything from your health and your sense of wellbeing, to your motivation, focus, success, and even physical strength.

If this sounds like a whole lot of nonsense, then consider what emotions really are: they are neurotransmitters and hormones. Now what many people don’t realize about neurotransmitters and hormones, is that they have a huge range of different roles in the body that go far beyond simply affecting our mood. That is to say that when you change your mood, you also change many other things.

For example, did you know that norepinephrine (a neurotransmitter with much in common with the hormone adrenaline) can increase your physical strength? Hence, when you are “amped up” in the gym, you can lift more!

Did you know likewise, that if you have high cortisol (the stress hormone), then you will be more likely to store fat, you will have more anxious thoughts, you will struggle to sleep, and you will even degrade your muscle? Worse, cortisol can actually direct blood away from your immune system and digestive system, which is why chronic stress can lead to so many health issues over time. This same process is useful of course if you are in a life or death situation!

Hormones and neurotransmitters regulate our appetite, they control our sleep-wake cycle, and they impact on our ability to store memories. They can even increase or decrease our perception of pain! Did you know for instance, that serotonin is a natural painkiller? Whereas cortisol makes it much higher?

There are no good and bad hormones or neurotransmitters. That is not the point here!

The point though, is that if you can take control of your emotions, then you can take control of your entire body and system. As a result, you can be calmer, happier, stronger, healthier, and more resilient against illness. And that is all pretty amazing really when you think about it.

And this is why self-care really matters. Because if you don’t look after your well-being, it’s more than just your mood that is going to suffer. Learn to control your mood and you can perform your best, you can combat feelings of pain and lethargy, and you can feel amazing doing it.

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How to unwind with an indulgent bathroom soak.

It’s important that we sometimes take the time to indulge ourselves. Having a great bathroom design can do this and will give you the opportunity to lie back and forget all your worries while being soothed by bath products, warm water and beautiful smells.

So how do you go ahead making the most of that beautiful bathroom and taking some much needed ‘me’ time? Read on for some pointers…

Clear Your Schedule

First and most important is to clear your schedule. This means making sure that all those little chores around the house are done and that your phone is somewhere where it’s not going to disturb you. Lock the door and tell everyone not to enter.

More importantly, make sure that you have taken the time to get into the right ‘mental zone’. It doesn’t take your boss calling you for you to think of work again – we’re highly capable of getting stressed about our to-do list in the office on our own! That’s why you need to take some time to put your concerns aside and to imagine locking them away in a box to worry about later. They aren’t going anywhere and you’ll actually be more productive if you take the occasional time out. So give yourself permission to switch off for a bit and then see that you do!

The Right Atmosphere

Most people find a long bath to be one of the most relaxing things they can do. If you run a hot bath, add all the right bubble bath and other products and shut the world out for a good hour then you’ll be a new man or woman by the time your emerge.

But if you want to go one step further then you need to set the right atmosphere. This means lighting a few candles (maybe scented) and it means playing some relaxing music. These little changes can make the difference between being relaxed and being in bliss so it’s worth taking the time out to set the scene.

Entertainment

Or perhaps you would be more relaxed if you had something to distract your mind from the stresses of life. That could mean a good book, or it might mean a bath radio. Other people might prefer to download a podcast and once you’ve set it up you can have that playing while you unwind.

If you want to go one step further then you can even get tablets that are fully waterproof. You’ll be able to play games, browse Facebook and read blogs while you’re in the tub! That’s living the dream…

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5 Ways you are neglecting yourself right now

Self-care is a popular trending hashtag right now. It describes the practice of deliberately looking after yourself. That means sleeping well, it means taking the occasional bubble bath, and it means grooming.

The popularity of this movement is of course born out of the sheer importance of looking after ourselves. Failure to do so is liable to result in illness, and to prevent us from performing at our very best.

But before we start “adding” things to our routines to try and be healthier and happier, perhaps it makes sense to look at our current routines first – and to identify the ways in which we aren’t taking care of ourselves.

Here are some prime examples.

You Punish Yourself for Mistakes

Punishing yourself for past mistakes is a common mistake, but no less destructive for it. When we punish ourselves, we essentially lack compassion for ourselves and we treat ourselves with unfair expectations. We all make mistakes, so why force yourself to relive them?

Ask this: would you treat someone else this way?

You Don’t Get Enough Sleep

This is another extremely common mistake: to work hard and long, or just to fail to think about your health; and thus to not get enough sleep.

This has major deleterious effects over time, that will ware down your health, mood, and drive.

You Never Go to the Doctor

Does this one sound familiar? Again, it’s a case of treating yourself with less dignity and care than you would show a stranger. How many times have you told friends and relatives they should see a doctor? Isn’t it time you took your own advice?

You Don’t Rest and Relax

Another serious mistake that many people make is not resting and relaxing enough. When was the last time you kicked your legs up on the couch, put on a good movie, and just enjoyed the peace and quiet?

When was the last time you read a good book? Or just sat outside and looked at the sky?

You Work Late

Working late is another extremely common example of putting your own needs last. We place so much pressure on ourselves to perform, that we are happy to let it grind down our energy and our health. Not only does this rob us of the free time we deserve, but it actually isn’t productive. Countless studies show that most of the work we do late at night is ineffective and not urgent!

Just try going home on time tomorrow, and see if it noticeably impacts your working week!

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The most relaxing way to spend your day off.

Much of life is nothing but a mad rush from our beds to the place where we work and back again. We’ll spend a great deal of our time in meetings or sitting in front of the computer and for many of us that’s not really what we’d like to be doing. 

As such then it’s important to make sure that we look for other ways to spend our time when we’re not forced to go to work and that we really make the most of our spare time when we get the opportunity. Here we will look at some of the ways you can unwind on your days off… 

Go to a Spa 

Spas are of course ideal for relaxing and are entirely devised with that purpose in mind. When you visit the spa you’ll be able to relax in the hot tub, to sweat out toxins in the sauna and to cool off by having a swim. If you have a little more money to spare though you’ll also be able to pay for treatments which means even more indulgence as you get massages and manicures to help your skin and muscles feel like putty. 

Go Fishing 

Fishing is one of the most relaxing hobbies out there. It’s addictive and challenge but it still requires a lot of sitting  and waiting in the sun – which is fine by most people. Going fishing is a great way to keep yourself busy while you sit and enjoy a good book or a nice cup of tea in the sun. It’s also a fun activity to enjoy with friends and can make for a surprisingly sociable day out. 

Rent a Boat 

Boat isn’t too expensive, but it provides a brilliant way to relax and unwind in the sun. Take some drinks with you and a good book or some friends, and you can enjoy soaking up some sun while you enjoy the relaxing rocking of the boat and the amazing views it affords. If you enjoy fishing or swimming then you can also enjoy both these activities from your boat. 

Picnic 

If you have a family and don’t want to spend the Earth, then just heading to your local park with some food and a rug to eat it off of is a great way to enjoy relaxing and getting some sun. Good food and relaxation is a match made in heaven…