Coaching Uncategorized

Irock+ Method

The Irock process kicks of with an invitation to an inquiry. Listen deeply to what is being said and what is not being said. Listen for insights. Keep an open mind and let go of the need to be right. Consider that alternative possibilities may exist at the same time. Ask yourself really good questions, framed in the positive. What might be possible for you? What would you love to create in the next 12 months? What would life be like if you were to create your all of your life’s wealth in the next 12 months?

Consider when your are at your best. What are those moments that make your heart sing, that make you feel alive, like you can achieve anything?

Consider the people, places, circumstances that surround you at moments of extraordinary performance.

What gives you life and what drains your energy?

Who are the people you love spending time with? Who should you rather avoid?
What is your favourite place in the world? What kind of places make you feel overwhelmed and tired?
Which situations allow you to be at your best? Which ones make you want to shrink and run away?
Does your physical space reflect the kind of person you want to be? Does it lift and inspire you? Are there areas with clutter and unfinished projects?

Observe as if for the first time, what is happening around you. The levels of observation depicted in the image will guide you in this journey.

It’s easier to start form the outside and work towards the core. What are the situations you find yourself in on a regular basis? Who are you in those situations and what role are you playing? Become aware of your body. What sensations do you experience and where in your body do you feel it? What emotions might be attached to those physical aspects? Is the pain in your shoulder an indication that you carry too much weight on your shoulders. Is the pain in your knee an indication that you don’t have the support you might need for the current situation. What are the thoughts you are constantly thinking? Are they your thoughts, or can you recognise your mother/father/caregiver/teacher in the things you are thinking. Do you tend to see the good in most things or are you focussed on what could go wrong. Who are you really, when no-one is around. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you like what you see and do you want to spend time with that person in the mirror?

Once we start paying attention and intensely observe what is happening around us and within us, we start to see the world more clearly. Situations that were difficult to comprehend before, now become easy to understand and the action we need to take becomes clear. We can know move towards taking conscious action and start creating our lives instead of being a victim of life.

We become aware of new knowledge that exists, because we have paid attention to our inner and outer world and have a clearer sense of direction. We can know distinguish between being, thinking and doing.

The Triangle of Trancendence allows us to move through different levels. In some instances we are physically doing and transacting. this level does not require much thought and often requires a lot of effort. Once we start thinking differently about our lives, our beliefs and experiences, transformation can take place. There is tremendous joy and freedom once we are able to step into being. When you are being a leader, you can relax becuase you know who you are and what is required of a leader. You no longer have to do leadership or think to hard about it. When you embrace being a leader it means that you are a leader in all areas of your life as parent, in your community, at work, at school, in friendly situations. You allow your leadership to shine though.


A letter from my Inner Warrior

Every so often I go through an exercise to connect to my inner wisdom and I then proceed to write down what comes to mind. Here is one of those “Letters from my Inner Warrior”.

“Welcome to this amazing place we call earth. There are so many exciting journeys to go on. Some of these journeys will fill you with tremendous joy, others bring sadness, but also great learning.

I’m so happy that you decided to join us. You see the world needs you and your gifts.

You may not realise it now, but you are going to rock the world and create unprecedented change. The trials and tribulations that you go through are really all just training to prepare you for your soul’s mission on earth.

There will be days that you feel like giving up – keep the faith and know that it is all going to be worth it. You will be able to speak your truth from a deep sense of knowing, no longer needing anyone’s approval.

On this life journey I’m here to support you and make sure that you nourish and take care of your body and soul. You see to do your amazing work will require significant energy, so it is important to keep your body in a healthy state. We’ll have fun, play and goof off every now and gain.

A lot of people will be giving you advice from an early age. Their intentions are good, some based on their own fears of wanting to conform. But don’t listen to them. Listen to your heart, because you are born with that amazing gift of intuiting and a fantastic ability to listen, both to what is said and not said. You’ll discover that you have the ability to “know” certain things about people without them telling you.

When your friend tells you not to buy the bright colorful leather jacket and opt for the sensible navy one, don’t listen to her. That colorful jacket will become your trademark.

Follow your heat’s desire in the moment. Don’t worry too much about doing the ‘right’ thing and pleasing others. You’ll have a strong sense that you don’t fit in – that’s OK.

Eagles don’t flock.

You are unique and amazing. Trust your own judgement, because you “know” even if you can’t explain it. Your decisions based on this knowing will take you far.

Get out of your head and don’t overthink stuff. Take immediate action, especially in those moments when you feel your heart pounding in your chest. That’s the space where miracles happen, things flow, people show up and the universe conspires to help you achieve success in the most delightful ways.

Here is some important and seemingly contradictory advice:

You don’t have to finish everything you start. Know that you can cut your losses when the situation no longer serves you.

Balance is completely overrate. Do those things that light you up and make you feel alive. Then you’ll never have to be concerned about being balanced.

Those crazy ideas you come up with when you are young – follow them. They are going to be all the rage when you are older, you might as well develop it.

Adopt an attitude of fearlessness. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Upgrade your “friends” regularly. Love deeply and take the risk to be vulnerable.

You see, you are going to turn out an amazing specimen of a human being. Continue to write poetry.

Publish your thinking. That’s your voice being heard, when you can’t speak.

You don’t need anyone’s approval.

Go for it.

You are going to inspire people for generations to come.

Remember that I love you always, no matter what.

Your Inner Warrior.

If you are curious about connecting to your inner warrior, then come join a group of fellow soul warriors in The Warrior Self Care Club


5 Ways to uplevel your credibility

5 Ways to Uplevel Your Credibility

If you want to earn top dollar for your coaching programs, it’s clear you’ll first have to become the go-to expert in your niche. You’re likely already working toward that goal, and probably have been for some time, but if you’re not quite there yet, here’s how to jumpstart your career.

Content Creation. This is by far the most important thing you can do to grow your audience and your credibility. Blog posts, podcasts, ebooks, and self-paced training programs—whether free or paid—are the building blocks of your empire, and if you want to earn top dollar, you first have to put in the work to create a solid foundation.

Video. This is where a lot of people struggle. Maybe you hate the sound of your voice or you hate how you look on video. You’ll need to get over it. Your potential clients need to get to know you better before they shell out $5,000 or $10,000 for that group-coaching program you’re putting together, and video is the easiest way for them to do that. So get a makeover, hire a video coach, and start sharing what you know on YouTube and other video channels.

Write a Book. The big daddy of content, a real, physical book can skyrocket your credibility and pave the way for the rest of your coaching career. Now, we’re not talking about Kindle books here (although they do have their place in your overall content plans). No, for this, you want to publish a printed book—and if you can attract the attention of a publishing house rather than going the self-publishing route, that lends more credibility.

Speaking. Nothing says “I’m an expert” quite like getting to take to the stage and speak in front of a group. Chances are your expert status has already attracted the attention of event organizers and you’ve been asked to speak. If you have, and have turned down the opportunity, now is the time to boost up your confidence and make the leap. If you haven’t, then go out and actively seek opportunities that are a good fit. Don’t be afraid to start small—at your local Chamber of Commerce or a recurring MeetUp group—but keep an eye on the big stage, too, and be open for the chance to wow a crowd with your expertise.

Host a Live Event. Want to really blow your audience away with your coaching and business skills? Plan and host a live event. It doesn’t have to be huge—in fact a small, intimate venue is often the best choice—but do start making plans. Live event hosts are often viewed as the real movers and shakers in their industries (because they are).

Remember, too, no matter which credibility-boosting method you’re using, it will only work if people know about it. So don’t just start a podcast, market it. Don’t step onto a stage of any size without shouting about it to the rooftops, and never ever write a book without a big launch. Credibility and visibility go hand in hand, so do everything you can to get the word out about your achievements.


Coaching Dealing with change New beginnings

Personal freedom begins in your mind

You might be surprised to learn that the biggest obstacle to your personal freedom is right between your ears. A negative mindset is the biggest block to freedom.

There are so many parts of your life you cannot control, from the need to earn a living to finding true love. But you can control your mindset, your thoughts, and how you act in the world. So how can you overcome your psychological blocks and open your mind to achieve greater freedom?

  • Change the record

Everyone has a constant inner monologue; what psychologists call self-talk. And most of the time, yours is probably set to negative. Any messages you get in childhood about being bad, hopeless or selfish or stupid all get absorbed in your malleable child’s brain and resurface in adulthood as your Inner Critic.

The good news is that you can reprogram your Inner Critic and turn it into an Inner Coach.

Make a list of all the negative things your Inner Critic says. Be alert for phrases that start ‘you always or ‘you never.’ Watch out for ‘shoulds’ too. Then take each negative message and turn into a positive one.

Change your self-talk broken record to a new track full of encouragement and positivity.

  • Change your expectations

Studies have shown that the most significant contributors to success or failure are your expectations. Happy people expect things to go well and mistakes or problems do not crush them, they see them only as temporary setbacks. Conversely, if the expectation is to fail any issue will confirm the expectations, and you won’t try again.

Expecting things to work out is not wishful thinking; it is choosing to be positive no matter what the circumstances.

  • Change your focus

Modern society trains us to be dissatisfied with what we have now and constantly strive for bigger, better and shiner. You can choose to step outside of this and be grateful for what you have right now.

Developing a habit of gratitude frees you from this pressure and affects the structure of your brain. Studies show that the more you feel grateful, the more resilient you become in the face of life’s ups and downs. You feel happier with what you have and more open to receiving. Even better, you rewire the neural pathways in your brain so that your mindset defaults to positivity. You start to see the good things before you notice the bad. Over time, you perceive life as positive, and your expectations change. You free yourself from the burden of negativity!

Business Coaching Productivity

4 Distractions That Drain Your Focus on Your Goals

There are plenty of distractions in the modern world. They take away your focus and your energy and can stop you from having the life you want. If you’re not hitting your goals, maybe it’s time to look at your main distractions and do something about them.

Here are the most common distractions that are likely stopping you from living your best life.

  • Social media

It won’t surprise you to hear that the biggest distraction for most people is social media and the hours it eats out of the day. Take a quick look at your Instagram feed or Facebook, and before you know it, you’re mindlessly scrolling through what looks like other people’s perfect lives.

It’s time to take stock and decide how much of your life you want to spend watching what other people are doing. Set some boundaries about when and how long you will spend on social media. Take a look at your “friends” and see if they’re people you want to know. 

  • Smartphone

Smartphones are great tools, but they can quickly become a huge distraction. Look around and see how many people are walking down the street with their eyes glued to their phones. Think about how long you can go without checking your phone. Try leaving your phone in your purse or your pocket when you go out for a meal. Leave it at home when you take the dog for a walk.

Another tip is to cull some of the apps on your phone. Work out what you need and delete the rest. And remember mobile games are one of the biggest time-sucks. Think about how you want to use your time and be strategic about how you use your phone.

  • Online watching

How much time do you waste watching meaningless YouTube videos or binge-watching box sets? These might feel like simple, relaxing things to do, but if you’re not careful, they can drain as much time as social media.

Keep focused on how you want your life to be and make decisions about how much recreational TV you want to watch.

  • Negative people

Giving your time away to negative people can be damaging to your success. You can probably name the people at the office or in your life who drain you of energy and who take up a lot of time with their complaining, attention-seeking, and neediness.

If there are people around you who are undermining your chances of meeting your goals, you need to set some healthy boundaries and get out of their orbit. Look for positive, high energy people who will support you and cheer you on.


The original Irock+ Coaching Framework

I developed this model and method over a number of years to create positive transformation for specific individuals and organisations. The original model I presented at the WAIC 2015 conference can be found below. I’ve since refined this even more and have distilled the absolute best of what works and have added a few aspects to speed up the process of positive transformation over a shorter period of time. In it’s original form, this model ran over 6 months, but really who wants to wait that long to see some real, tangible change?


Coaching Finish strong

Finish the year strong

My coach and friends have been encouraging me to write a blog. I’ve been resisting – OK I’ve just been plain stubborn. I didn’t want to do it. And then a friend of mine said this to me: “You are holding back – there are so many people who you could help if you wrote about the stuff we often talk about.”

I have to admit I’ve never really thought about it like that. I’ve always thought it has to be some sort of academic style article, thoroughly researched, with loads of references. So I’m going out on a limb here and writing about things that matter to me – love, life, work, marriage, relationships, friends, coaching, attempting a PhD.

I know it seems really silly to start something new when it is the end of the year. Most people are wrapping up and winding down, and I just wanted to do something completely different this year. Instead of winding down, I’m finishing strong. Taking on that one last project and writing just a few more proposals.

I’m not waiting for January before I start living more healthy – I’m seeing a nutritionist now. The work space that I’ve always dreamed of is happening now and I’m inviting my clients to  join me in this journey of redefining who I am and what I have to offer.

Instead of waiting for things to be just right, and the planets to align just so, and that special sign to appear out of thin air – I’m taking the bull by the horns and doing something – taking action. This will mean things are not perfect. All sorts of things could happen. You might even be offended at some of the things I write. I am very likely to make mistakes in the process. Some things will work out and others won’t. My intention is to immerse myself fully in living life the best way I know how, so that I can share with you what is working, what is not working and perhaps you’ll find your spark again. You’ll find that special something inside you, that you remembered having when you were just about 5 years old – when the world was magical and you believed you could do anything. I’d love to help you remember that and make it real now.

There will be no new years resolutions. There will be lots of intentions. (Could be the topic of the next blog!)

I look forward to your comments, questions and suggestions as you join me in finding my voice.